Saturday: Practise Gratitude Without Denying the Loss

By SeeMyChurch Editorial · Friday, 16 October 2026 · 4 min read

Gratitude can be difficult when a situation still hurts. We may fear that giving thanks means admitting the loss was unimportant or pretending that everything has already worked out. A more honest practice allows gratitude and grief to remain in the same room.

In Setbacks and the Doorway to Mercy, Pastor Poju Oyemade turns to Psalm 95 and a response of thanksgiving. This original reflection explores how gratitude can keep attention open without becoming pressure to describe a painful event as good.

Begin with what is true

Read Psalm 95:1–7. The passage directs attention towards God’s greatness and care. It gives a reason for worship that is larger than whether the day has met our expectations.

Start by naming the loss honestly. You may be disappointed, angry or tired. Do not remove those facts from the prayer in order to make the thanksgiving sound more convincing.

Then name one good that remains true. It might be a person who has stayed, help you received or enough strength for a necessary task. Keep it specific. A small truthful expression is more useful than a sweeping statement you do not believe.

Let gratitude widen attention

Difficulty can occupy the whole field of vision. Gratitude does not erase it; it helps us notice that other things are present too. A conversation, a meal or a moment of quiet may coexist with an unresolved problem.

Write down three such observations during the day. They do not need to be exceptional. The practice is about attention, not comparison with someone whose circumstances are different.

Avoid using another person’s suffering to silence your own. Being aware that others face hardship can deepen compassion, but it does not make your need for care illegitimate.

Express thanks where it belongs

If someone has helped, thank them specifically. Describe what their action made possible. This recognises the real contribution rather than offering a vague compliment.

You may also notice care that you previously took for granted. A family member’s routine work, a colleague’s reliability or a friend’s patience can become more visible when you look deliberately.

Do not turn gratitude into an obligation to remain in a harmful relationship. You can acknowledge something good a person did while maintaining a necessary boundary about other behaviour.

Connect thanks with a response

Ask how the good you received might shape your next action. Perhaps encouragement gives you courage to complete a task. Perhaps practical help creates space to rest. Receiving a gift thoughtfully can be a form of gratitude.

If your capacity allows, extend care to someone else. Keep it proportionate and sincere. You do not need to repay every kindness immediately or make generosity into a performance.

Bring the unresolved concern before God again. Thanksgiving need not end the conversation about pain. You can be grateful for support and still ask for change, justice or healing.

At the end of the day, read your three observations. Notice whether they have changed the way you describe the day. It may still have been hard, but it was not necessarily empty of care.

If you cannot find much to name, do not force the exercise into self-criticism. Begin with a small fact or ask someone to help you notice. Some seasons require receiving another person’s perspective until your own attention has more room.

Gratitude grows more trustworthy when it is honest. It can steady hope precisely because it does not require us to deny what remains difficult.

Reflect: What good can I name truthfully alongside what still hurts?

Prayer: Lord, receive both my grief and my thanks. Help me notice care, acknowledge those who offer it and remain open to hope without pretending the loss is already resolved. Amen.