Friday: Speak the Truth Without Contempt

By SeeMyChurch Editorial · Thursday, 15 October 2026 · 4 min read

A disagreement can begin with an idea and end with an attack on a person. Online, this shift happens quickly. A sharp sentence earns attention, others join in and the original question disappears beneath accusations. We may feel that we have defended the truth while making it harder for anyone to listen.

Pastor Dolapo Lawal’s Christian Faith Is Better includes a warning about a critical spirit and the way Christians treat those outside their own stream. This original study considers how conviction can remain clear without becoming contempt.

Separate the claim from the person

Read 2 Timothy 2:23–26. Paul connects teaching with patience and gentleness. These qualities do not require agreement with error. They shape the way a disagreement is handled and keep correction directed towards understanding rather than humiliation.

Before responding to a statement, try expressing it accurately in your own words. Have you understood what the person means, or only the version that is easiest to dismiss? A sincere question can reveal that the disagreement is narrower than it first appeared. It can also make a genuine difference clearer.

Then identify what you want your response to accomplish. Are you offering evidence, protecting someone from harm or asking for clarification? Or are you mainly trying to win approval from people who already agree with you? That motive affects the words you choose.

Leave room for the wider church

Christian communities differ in expression, history and emphasis. Some differences concern central beliefs; others concern style or practice. Treating every difference as proof that another group has no place in God’s family can make our own circle seem larger than the body of Christ.

This does not mean that all teachings are equally sound or that harmful conduct should be ignored. Claims should be examined, and wrongdoing should be addressed through appropriate channels. Respectful speech must never become an excuse to silence people who report abuse or ask legitimate questions.

The useful distinction is between examining a teaching and enjoying the humiliation of its teacher. We can name concerns clearly, provide reasons and protect people without making cruelty a sign of faithfulness. Accountability is stronger when it rests on facts rather than insults.

Practise a slower response

Choose one conversation that has made you defensive recently. Before returning to it, write down the main point you want to communicate in a single sentence. Remove the description of the other person’s character. Keep the claim, the evidence and the question that needs an answer.

If the conversation is online, consider whether a public reply is useful at all. Some issues need a direct conversation; others are better left without a response. Silence can be wise, but it should not be used to avoid a responsibility that genuinely belongs to you.

When you do respond, use words that you would be willing to say calmly face to face. Avoid presenting assumptions as facts. If you discover that you misunderstood, correct the record plainly. A willingness to revise your own statement makes your concern for truth more credible.

Listening also includes recognising the limits of your knowledge. You may understand a topic well and still lack the full context of a situation. Saying that you do not know is sometimes the most honest and faithful contribution available.

At the end of the day, review the effect of your words. Did they make the issue clearer? Did they preserve the other person’s dignity? If you spoke harshly, an apology does not require abandoning your conviction. It acknowledges that the way we speak matters too.

Reflect: How can I make my concern clearer while making my words less harmful?

Prayer: God of truth, guide my understanding and my speech. Give me patience to listen, courage to address what is wrong and humility to correct myself. Let my words serve understanding and love. Amen.